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One Day….
     She Realized….
That she had been standing….
    Facing her Biggest fear
and had found
     Her greatest GIFT.–jd 11/08/13

      It happens like that sometimes. The changing of perspective. As a very young girl, I remember being alone. (I spent a LOT of time alone.) And as I grew up and became a woman, the being alone became my biggest fear. I didn’t want to live alone. I didn’t want to sleep alone.  I didn’t (don’t) want to DIE alone (still working on that one.) But here is the thing….

Being alone is a GIFT. 

     As I was journaling this morning, I realized that all of my life I have longed for love, and what I didn’t understand until today, is that….that longing for love outside of myself was never going to be satisfying.  Within me there is a well of love that is so deep, and so giving and so nurturing, yet I built a wall between it and myself hoping against hope that someone would come along who could tear that wall down and bring that love to me. I have looked at that love and thought that it was totally inaccessible to me.  

    Subconsciously, I have been removing pieces of that wall. Healing my sore places. Letting go of anger, guilt, and shame. (Which I don’t mind telling you is a CRUSHING burden to carry.) Moving aside those things that have kept me on the “outside” of that love. 

     But today…..today I tasted that love….