Sometimes it just hits you.
Up side the head.
Like a 2 x 4.
I am talking about those moments of clarity in which something you never hoped for….never thought you could attain….never dreamed was possible…actually became reality.
After years of tears…..anger….doubt….loneliness….shame….it occurred to me this morning that
I am happy.
In this moment…..(and in most moments these days) I am extraordinarily pleased with the woman I am. It didn’t come easy, and it came with a heavy price. But there it is.
When my mother passed away in 1992, I swore then that somehow…I would be happy. That I would NOT die an angry bitter old woman. I had no specific plan on achieving that, except that I knew it would involve change. Change in myself. That was my first step.
There have been many steps since then. Some easy, some not so much. Yet I kept putting one foot in front of the other and finally I can see success. There may be days yet, when I don’t feel so perky….or when I relapse. But the one thing I know for SURE, is that it will pass. Nothing stays forever. Life is change. My ability to adapt is pretty darn good, if I may say so myself. 🙂