You know sometimes, I wonder about myself. (I am fairly certain that others wonder about me, too, but that isn’t the subject at hand.) Sometimes, I KNOW things but I forget them, you know. Do you know? I mean lessons. Life lessons. Things that should be instinctual by now.
For years I have been shaping my life in the way I want it to be shaped. Truthfully, we all shape our own lives by the choices we make daily. However, I am talking about intentionally shaping my life. Examining those parts of my self that I do not like, and figuring out how to change those things. I am not perfect at it by any means. I have my aha! moments and then promptly forget them.
This morning was a fine example of that. For the past 2 days, I have been puttering around my art studio area, wanting to do some creative things. I finished up a couple of projects that I had been working on, which were “OK” but nothing I was thrilled with. The urge to do something really exciting (to me) has been there, but my inspiration has not. So, I turned on Super Soul Sunday and listened to Nate Berkus and Oprah having a little chit chat. While, I was distracted with that, my hands picked up a pencil….and a project I had started a couple of weeks ago and went to work. Then my hands got out the new water colors and went to work with those. All this while, my brain was listening to Nate and Oprah. (Which was pretty interesting, by the way.)
At the end of the program, I put on some meditation music that I had gotten yesterday and had not listened to, so that my mind was distracted with that. A couple of songs later, I looked at what I was doing and was THRILLED with the progress that I had made with the process. I know what it needs to be completed. Yet, I have not intentionally been thinking about the project at all.
I really think that my higher self….my “God” part is the one that does the art. If I start thinking about it….I get stuck. But when I am able to distract my “self”….I am capable of doing amazing things artistically. I’ve known this for some time now, yet I still find myself thinking that I am capable on my own of doing it….
“The making of art is no different from prayer…Art is prayer.” -Rainn Wilson
Will I ever learn?