I was listing my daily affirmations this morning in my journal and noticing at just how proud I was of becoming the person I have always wanted to be. In fact, I have always been that person, but have not allowed myself to see that. Then, my ego….who NEVER shuts her mouth….:) threw out this thought “How can you think yourself so good, when in fact you judge people all the time?” And it’s true. I judge people. “Look at that dumbass pulling out in front of me!” “How can those people not see that if they would be a better parent that their children wouldn’t be in trouble so much?” “How can that woman ask for help and own a cell phone?” “How can those people use an EBT card and then pay for cigarettes?” Extreme judgements of which I am aware of when I think them, and I tell myself that I have no right to judge their circumstances so I leave those thoughts unspoken.
But what about those “little” judgements? Like “I am bad because I thought that.” or “They must be mad because they haven’t called.” or “They don’t believe the same way as I do, so obviously they are wrong.” We all do this. They don’t really seem like judgements, but they are. So, how do I “fix” this?
The answer came to me while I was journaling (as it most often does.) “Instant Forgiveness.” Starting with myself for having the thought, and then extended to what I judged to be bad. “I am sure that he is NOT a dumbass, but probably just made a mistake.” Throwing some love and forgiveness at what we have judged takes the sting away, while acknowledging that the act was not a choice we would have made in that moment. Realizing, that when we don’t have enough information to understand what we want to judge (i.e. They didn’t call because they were out of town.”) that our judgement is an ERROR. False. Fantasy. Created by our own minds. By being aware of these things, we lead ourselves away from judgements to the beginnings of understanding. (And less wear and tear on our tender hearts!)
Be in love.
“Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn’t come here of my own accord, and I can’t leave that way.
Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.”–Rumi