I was sitting here at my desk journaling, because I have a meeting later and there is no point in my going home and then turning around and coming back. I happened to look up and out the window in my office, and I thought “What an absolutely perfect autumn day!” There is a tree across the street that has not shed its leaves yet, even though they are brown. My imagination went to piles of burning leaves in the ditches of my grandma and grandpa’s house on Vine Street. We would all be enlisted in raking the leaves into the ditches on days like this.
The memory of the smell of burning leaves, led to the memory of bonfires, and of course, homecoming at high school.
The football game! Screaming myself hoarse in the pep club area, sometimes freezing half to death! (Not that I was any big lover of football, you know, but the cutest guys played!!!) And even today, the smell of a permanent marker puts me in mind of the many posters the pep club worked on.
That memory…led me to the thought of my school sweater (which I still have.) I was so proud of that sweater, and of all the pins that I earned to put on it. Here it is, thirty eight years after I graduated from high school, thinking about that sweater and still feeling the pride in it that I had then.
I wish I could save that memory. The smells. The emotions. The sights. Oh, I could take pictures, and I do have some  but who would they mean anything to other than myself? One day that sweater (and I) will both fade to dust and it will mean nothing to anyone. (Well, I do hope that I will mean something! At least to my family!) So where does that memory go? The energy put into earning that beloved sweater, and all the energy and love that went into it. Where will that all go? Will it just cease to exist? Probably. Although, I have recorded this in my journal as well….but still…no one will understand the importance of that sweater to me. And it will be gone.

I just re-read this, and I thought how depressing! Somehow, I will find a way to preserve that memory…the energy and the love that was involved in all of that…and it will go on……

Advertisements